Thanks For the Offer, But I'll Pass. For Intelligent Bloggers Like Me!

Well, sometimes I glance at other blogs such as spiceupmyblog.com and betterblog.com and other sites like that, mostly to just mock them at how lame their sites are compared to mine. However, they usually have some good widgets, tips, and ideas, all of which are free. So, if they want us fellow bloggers to do blogging for free, then why do they want us to be getting our own domain so badly? I mean, no offense but unless if you get like 1000 views a day or something, why bother? No point in having to pay rent just to have "your own" site, when you can keep yours for free.

Still though, I hear these guys just crowing about how incredible and awesome having your own domain is. It truly makes you feel super entitled, and uhhhhhhh. I'm pretty sure that these guys are getting paid to give rave reviews from Google or Godaddy/ HostGator, etc., because why the hell else would you brag about this? For all of you saying "Wait Jon, you have no idea what you're talking about! It makes your site look professional and aesthetically pleasing. You also get your own URL too!" Well, that's nice, but news flash I'm not a professional! I'm just some kid talking shit on the web, and just that. Anyway, I decided to try it out and with Google being such a nice sport, they gave me a preview. Here's the before and after pics.

Whoa, who'll be able to recognize my site? I mean, what if someone visited my site and were like "Whoa! What the fuck just happened? Is this some imitator site or something? Did Jon get hacked? I'll go back to using the Internet the way it was intended, porn." All two of my loyal visitors would be desperately searching for my blog, futilely trying to bask in it's original glory, only to come up empty handed.

Apparently, another perk of this whole ideal is to change your ridiculous looking URL with something a little more streamlined. For example, in order to get this page (you know, unless if you Follow by Email, bookmark it, follow me on Twitter, like me on Facebook, subscribe me on reddit, digg, feedburner, delicious, etc.), you'd need to type in www.squiresquadron.blogspot.com, instead of squiresquadron.com. Now, that's understandably a huge difference, so instead of that, you could just bookmark this or something. (Hell, Google this shit!)

Anyways, I made this post because Hostgator paid me a whole chunk of change to review them, and I feel it's worth every damn penny.

Attorney's Note: Uhhh, I am pretty sure that's not what HostGator intended when they asked you to post a review of them on your site. In fact, I suggest taking this down and formally apologizing to them right now for this hijinks!

Writer's Note: Why don't I just bend over for them too? I tell it like it is America (And the rest of the World too I guess)








For More of Jon Hunt Please Browse Squire's Squadron Today (To Boost My Pageviews)!

Goodnight Irene! My Explanation for these Crazy Events

Well, as some of you may know, I actually live in the cozy (boring) area of Saint Paul, MN. However, I spent most of my childhood in New England, with many relatives still living there who have been telling me that it's been a crazy week so far. First, an earthquake around D.C., which rattled the coast. Then, a hurricane is forming right now that is suspiciously predicted to go up the coastline, spreading mayhem from Carolina to Canada. Now, I'm not a meteorologist, so I did some research, and these facts absolutely startled me.

Now, if you have read up on mythology as much as I have, then you'll know that Poseidon is known as the God of the Sea, who can create deadly storms. What you probably didn't know is that he is also known as the "Earth Shaker" (citation needed? Damn it, just google it. Too tired for sources), which also explains the earthquake. So then why would Poseidon want to destroy the East Coast? And why now of all times? Then when I was watching the news, I found a keyword that pieced everything together. "Jersey Shore". It all made sense now. You see, Poseidon obviously was watching Jersey Shore and had gotten way too much Snooki for even a god to take, so he decided to take it out on the entire East Coast, all to destroy that Garbage, err, I mean Garden State forever.

How can we stop this calamity from happening? There's only one way to appease an ornery deity, human sacrifice. That's right ladies and gentlemen, we'll have to offer up the cast of Jersey Shore to the sea. Now, it's not so much a moralistic obstacle (because who would defend these guys?), but a strategic one. Luckily, I have a cunning plan. Lure them with half naked, greased up Oompah Loompahs to the beach, and push them into the ocean, where the currents will spare us of even more of that godawful show.

For More of Jon Hunt Please Browse Squire's Squadron Today (To Boost My Pageviews)!

Totally Not a Scam! URL Appraisal and other Site "Evaluators"

Hello everyone. I just wanted you guys to know that my website, Squire's Squadron is worth $23,575.58! NOT! Come on, it's worth way more than that, URL Appraisal! I understand you want to be more realistic and try to lowball it a little bit, but I could barely afford an American car with that little money, let alone a functioning one. I suppose that's your evil plan URL Appraisals, to try and get me to sell my site for virtually nothing. I'll have you know that this site, which is the Two Million Six Hundred and Seventy Nine Thousand Five Hundred and Twenty Ninth best site in the Universe is just so great that other bloggers offer me hundreds of dollars just to comment on my new Disqus platform. And I keep telling them thanks, but no thanks because it's just not worth your opinions ruining the greatness of my FACTS (Which is why there's like no comments here, not because no one cares what I say).

So, what is URL Appraisal's evil plan with my site anyway? Why do they continue to try to lower the value of my incredibly awesome and not fucking shitty site? Call me crazy, but I have come up with an interesting theory. See, there is this site called Flippa.com (too lazy to link it up, sorry) and I believe that URL Appraisal is trying to lure me to sell my blog, in order to make millions, nay, billions on this incredibly lucrative goldmine. Well, the joke is on you, because I will proudly display your badge as a protest to your hostile takeovers of small, innocent little websites just managing to scrape a couple mill once in a while. Join me, and boycott URL Appraisals for not only do they spit on my blog, they also get free advertising (as if there wasn't enough fucking ads already)! So, just to prove my point, I went to cubestats.com, which seemed to be nice enough to give me a break and give me a legitimate idea as to my site's value.

FUCKING A!!!!

For More of Jon Hunt Please Browse Squire's Squadron Today (To Boost My Pageviews)!