Squire's Squadron's Speaking in Tongues!

Squire's Squadron is speaking in tongues! But only half of them apparently.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Creepy Google Commercial Shows What I Knew All Along (Oh Yeah, Happy Birthday Google!)

Now I'm sure this Google commercial has been out for a while, but I just saw this touching, heartfelt and tear-jerking commercial while watching the Vikings choking on some football team's dick once again. Yet I noticed something that felt just slightly odd about this commercial. For one thing it may sound cool for a parent to be able to completely document everything about your kid's life for no reason than you can, but it's also a double edged sword. I mean 10-20 years in the future and some classmate or co-worker will find that and embarrass her or worse, some psychopath will stalk her. I mean in this video, how do we know that this is her dad anyway? Hell, in just twenty seconds Google showed us how some random guy can plug in your name and then all of your private and personal shit including your entire life story in a millisecond. It could easily be the creepy neighbor down the street....

Still, the more I examined this commercial, an even more disturbing thought had mingled into my brain. What if this wasn't just some random guy, what if this faceless, voiceless, clicker was actually Google itself, gathering all of your personal knowledge in order to plot a hostile takeover of the world! I have already mentioned my distrust of Google before, but now it's getting way too scary for me to even handle. I mean I knew that if Google becomes sentient, I'd easily be the first victim anyway. So if I happen to be "missing" for a long period of time, please don't assume it's because of school or my job. Oh shit, what are you doing here? Arrrrrrrrrgggghhh!!!!!!!

Attorney's Note: Pretty sure that When Google wanted you to write them a post celebrating their 13th birthday, this is not what they had in mind.

Writer's Note*: Aha! So Google admits that he's sentient. How else would he have a 13th birthday party?

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