Squire's Squadron: Don't Click the Ads! A Warning to prevent Awesomeness!

Friday, July 22, 2011

Don't Click the Ads! A Warning to prevent Awesomeness!

This is less of an article and more of a warning. As you may have noticed, there is now a judicious and healthy use of ads in this site. For those that weren't able to enjoy the one week where there were no ads, well that sucks for you. Anyways, this is just a little note of caution when you are surrounded by so many incredible and curious things. Hell, even right now there is an ad with Japanese written all over it for some reason, even though according to my analytics app there are no Japanese readers on here. So, I just assumed that the ad was just so fucking incredible that it even transcends language and culture barriers. Then as I glanced at another ad, it had an advertisement of Google Adwords, which is a fantastic program that just guarantees you to have internet fame and freedom! But before I finish my tale of caution, here's a word from our sponsor!

Sanitized because you don't want to have icky, filthy tapeworms crawling through you, amirite! Ya wanna make sure they're clean first!
Anyways, I am just telling you all of this because I am just so jealous of you guys. This is because Google just won't let me even touch one of these fanciful and delight giving ads. Each one of these products are so top notch, so I feel as if I am missing out on a good time. So, if you just absolutely hate me, then I suggest pounding your mouse on a banner right now, so you can imagine the anguish and suffering that I feel. Also, since Google won't let me encourage you on clicking these ads by giving you gifts or anything as harmless as that I (Oh wait a minute, one says that I can be Mars, deity of war! That means I can plow that Venus chick, right?) feel sorry for you. Oh well, I guess I can't stop you just like a doctor can't tell my uncle to lay off the bacon. There is pretty much nothing I can do.

*Accountant Note: Jon, what are you doing? Advertising makes up 95%** of your revenue! You can't afford to do this! It's economic suicide! I hope you know what you are doing!
**The other 5% is from dealing weed.
***Writer's Note: Haven't you ever heard of Reverse Psychology dumbass? Oh yeah, and remember guys that you "don't" have to click the ads. At least, unless if you want to leave with your lives. Threats also work too, right?
****Attorney General's Warning: Please disregard Jon's threats, they are empty. Oh yeah, can I use a pound key or something instead of an asterisk? It seems a little pointless to have five of those motherfuckers.
*****Writer's Note (Again!): Pound keys are gay! (Wait, why are you facepalming? Is it something I said?)
Please Browse Squire's Squadron for more useless shit that'll get you through the day!