Squire's Squadron's Speaking in Tongues!

Squire's Squadron is speaking in tongues! But only half of them apparently.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Rowling to Re-Write Harry Potter Series

LONDON, UK- Bloomsbury Publishing along with famed "children's" book writer J. K. Rowling have recently announced to reboot the multi-billion dollar franchise. Many have had suspicion about this new rewrite, which seemed to coincide too closely with the final movie, which just broke the all time Opening Weekend box office record last week. However, J. K. quickly dismissed those outrageous ideas in her press release saying "This is an artistic revision only, not a shameful attempt to revitalize a dying brand." 

Still, when other authors were asked these new revisions, they were outraged. "I don't know what ploy Rowling is trying to pull, but it seems rather condescending to her readers," said Dan Brown, author of the Davinci Code and a lot of other crazy novels. Stephen Meyer, when inquired on her thoughts on the move simply responded," If I were a fan of Rowling, I'd be very upset about how she is prostituting her talents and flaunting her apathy of hr fans." Lemony Snicket simply quipped,"Damn, I wished I thought about that!"

When asked what changes there would be in this new series, Rowling replied," I want to make a better, stronger, and more realistic story. I felt as if the first few books were too immature and weak compared to the rich and gripping storyline of the later novels. I want them all to be gripping and improved." Fans across the world are getting excited, because they were worried that the whole "PotterMania" phenomenon that had lasted for over a decade would abruptly end. "I have been fearing the day that the series would be coming to an end since the third book! I am glad that's going to be prolonged," responded Jane Lewis, who runs a Harry Potter fan club in Detroit. 

When are these new books coming out? According to Rowling," I am in no rush at all." Indeed..
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